Allegory of Ice Cream


“Imagine, if you will, a bowl of ice cream.”
“Yes, master.”
“It has three scoops, each a different flavor.”
“Strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate?”
“No, it does not matter what the flavors are.”
“Then they’re strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate.  I like those flavors.”
“Well, I don’t.  Now pay attention.”
“Yes, oh wise master.”
“There are three scoops of three different flavors, in a large bowl.”
“I like ice cream.”
“In this bowl are two spoons.”
“Good!  We can both have ice cream.”
“But, there are four men sitting around this bowl.”
“Uh-oh, I guess we have to share.
“Now, have you been listening?”
“Yes.”
“Then, what are the four men to do?”
“Easy, fight for the spoons, and the two that win have a contest to see who gets the most!”
“Ah, but! What happens when this frozen treat is consumed too swiftly?”
“Ooh!  Ooh! I know this one!  I ate my ice cream too fast once and my head hurt forever.  Nope, eating ice cream too fast is not a good idea.”
“So, who comes out the better if there is a fight for the ice cream?”
“Ummmm… The guys who lost the fight?”
“Really?  But, don’t they miss out on the frosty treat?”
“Nah, they don’t like ice cream anyway.”
“Why would they fight if they didn’t like ice cream?”
“Because they’re Larry, Curly, Moe, and Harry?”
“Harry?”
“Yah, he joined the Three Stooges.”
“Then, they would no longer be the ‘Three’ Stooges, would they?”
“There are four musketeers in that Three Musketeers story and they’re still called the three musketeers.”
“I was not aware that you read such classics.”
“Read?  I saw the movie with Chris O’Donnel in it!”
“You are straying from the lesson at hand, my young pollywog.”
“I’m sorry, great master.”
“Now-“
“When can we have ice cream?  I’m hungry now.”
“When you sit down and shut up!”
“Ooh.”
“Now, what have you learned?”
“Slurp.”
“Slurp?”
“Smack, smack, smack. Sluuuuuuuuuuurp.”
“What are you doing now?”
“Clink!  Aaaah, that was good.”
“What was?”
“I just ate all the ice cream.”
“There was no ice cream.”
“Well, I finished it all so now Larry, Curly, Moe and Harry stopped fighting.”
“Oye.”

 

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